Social Distancing Is An Opportunity For Self-Development
Social Distancing, or intentional self-confinement, can be a powerful tool for self-development. Many thinkers and readers have used isolation practices to nurture their strengths and overcome their weaknesses. Hindu and Buddhist practitioners will confine themselves to small rooms, often in pitch blackness, to meditate for long periods without the presence of the exterior world. Many writers have been practicing Social Distancing by locking themselves in studios or homes for weeks or months on end to produce what they consider their best content. Activists like Nelson Mandela and Alfred Woodfox, who were forcefully imprisoned and placed in solitary confinement, both mention creating highly disciplined schedules to maintain their sanity and wits. Both brave and enduring individuals not only came out sane, but with deep wisdom, intellect, and passion for changing the world around them.
Social Distancing can also be a dangerous tool. The prosecutors and prison wardens of Mandela and Woodfox weren’t hoping that their inmates would become more effective dissidents when locking them away. In the present day, intentional self-confinement is a part of the violent feedback loop of depression, feelings of not belonging, agoraphobia, or other debilitating symptoms. I am well-practiced in both positive and negative self-confinement but ultimately have spent more time suffering from the latter.
If Social Distancing goes unchecked, one can easily fall victim to their own devices (literally and figuratively). Mindlessly watching hours upon hours of television or playing video games, eating poorly or overabundantly, developing irregular sleep cycles, losing focus, abandoning hobbies or interests, developing anxieties and avoiding healthy/safe opportunities to leave one’s confines, or other self-harming patterns. If someone has lost their job and developed these patterns, the effects will be even more damaging. Trust me, I lost mine and I’m crawling out of my own hole as I write this.
The pandemic, in the most macro of views, is a catastrophic event in human history, but that doesn’t mean there can’t or shouldn’t be silver linings. There should be. There has to be. Social Distancing inherently comes at a cost but, rather than focusing on that, maybe we can ask ourselves, “What is Social Distancing worth?” Or “How can I benefit from the situation that I am in?”. Now, I’m not saying that we should all start economic gouging, but I am saying that we should be opportunists while Social Distancing.
The world is not our oyster right now, but our home is. Our homes can be anything we want it to be. It can be our den of hibernation, and it can also be our Temple, our School, our Dojo. If you are like me and you suffer from a lack of self-discipline then, frequently, we are too stressed and burnt out by the commute, work, social obligations, and errands to come home and say “Now I’m going to work on improving myself or my skills!”. It is hard to wake up at 7:00 AM, drive to the office, work for 8 hours with my supervisors and colleagues, pick up that item I need at the store, come home to say, “Now I’m going to work on that novel!”. By the time I get home, I feel like collapsing. Even though I know there are proven strategies to generate a second or third wind of the day, I usually submit to a passive evening in front of the screens.
Whether you are working from home or currently unemployed, the time of mandatory Social Distancing is a rare opportunity to practice self-discipline and work towards your self-development goals (emotional, physical, creative, or professional). Remember that the rules aren’t that different than they were before social distancing mandates. You aren’t going to change everything about yourself overnight. Determine what it is you want to improve upon or initiate, whether that is writing, building up arm muscles, cooking, or playing guitar, then spend 15–30 minutes practicing that. When you don’t have something that you need to do (ex. work, necessary chore, or personal goal) try your best to do nothing. Slow down as much as possible, but don’t numb yourself (watch TV or scroll social media). Restrict your mind and body’s energy for tasks that build you up and make you happy.
When establishing your home as a Social Distancing Dojo, be wary not to binge on newfound passions or pursuits. The research has shown that you are most likely to do this and that you will burnout in the process. Due to Social Distancing, we have more time and fewer errands. Spend a mere 5–10 minutes a day working out this week and attempt to increase that time by 50% next week.
When you finish your session, whatever it may be, consider sitting down and do nothing. Doing nothing is better than watching television. It will make you more focused than scrolling on social media will. If doing nothing is hard, then try downloading one of many guided meditation podcasts to learn about how to be good at doing nothing. Most of us are addicted to filling in every moment with either entertainment, conventional productivity, or sleep. It is tough to break the cycle, but the more we do nothing, the better we will be at the things we are trying to improve upon. Doing nothing is the recharge period that less disciplined people need to sustain new habits.
If you don’t know what your goals are or you don’t have any hobbies, then you may need to unlearn for a while. Try unplugging from all routines for a while, meaning try to do nothing as much as possible for an extended period (3–14 days). This means performing as minimal of daily activities as possible, productive or passive. Just sit down (outside or on a patio if possible), away from your television, computer, or phone, and ponder. Ponder and walk around if you can do so safely. Pondering may be in the form of meditating or free-thinking or some mixture of both. Let your brain float from one topic to the next and try not to get overly fixated on a particular idea or future action (what you are going to fo when you stop pondering). Don’t give yourself any expectations for today or tomorrow. Try to let go of life goals and pay more attention to your immediate surroundings and senses. Some call this “unlearning” or trying to empty yourself. Unlearning’s function is to create a new, more blank, baseline for yourself. Unlearning is a valuable exercise because most of our personal identity (what we think we need to be or become) is so strongly influenced by what others have ingrained in us. Unlearning is an opportunity to forget about what our societies, family members, and friends think we should be so that we can decide for ourselves. But the catch is that there needs to be a resting period. A period where no major decisions are being made or pursued if they don’t have to be. Letting go of our mental attachments that we have right now so we can throw a spiritual magnet into the universe tomorrow to see where we naturally gravitate.
This strange period of Social Distancing can be no different than our regular life, it can be our prison sentence, or it can be our training grounds. Whether or not we choose to take advantage of this complicated situation is up to us.
The thoughts shared in this article are more of a reflection of my own journey and struggles during the pandemic circumstances. I try my best not to judge anybody except myself in terms of what we do with our free time.
Photo by Ian Stauffer on Unsplash
